Brackish

After the wet season, before
the midsummer night's drought,
I flight for the floodplains, where
the northern downpour bleeds out
and sweeps its love to the mouth
of my lungs. I sleep in the crux
of an oxbow, let my dreams flux
and flow fractured, deltaic. For this
is the way I piece myself apart,
a resolution, my absolution
in a new avulsion.

During the day, I move south
towards the river mouth, picking
pebbles, coral fangs from the riverbed.
A loose tooth is a common truth
in these parts. Bones are febrile,
eyelashes are made of chalk, salt.
Tears turn brackish. They cake
and crack on the flats of my hands.

This is my Pangaea,
this swollen geography,
this slacken land.
The point of no return.

Here, all else ends.

By dusk I meet the saltmarsh
and dehusk, grow halophytic
in the nightlight. I pull out
my hair, my fingernails, and
fill the gaps in my spine
with reed rhythms, saline.
The final rite: turning flesh to grass.

Tomorrow, morning mist
will drag the whitewash back,
ashes to ash.

And I will walk the water,
with a pocketful of stones
and something new to throw
beneath the glass.

* * *

Spite is a dangerous vice, but I still think I'd rather crucify than learn.
I hope this hurts like it's supposed to. As much as you hurt me.

.

Let's play spot the obscure literary / lyrical / geographical reference! Any excuse to indulge my love of random geographical terminology... xD

Feels Blind

The first thing I remember was the hunger.
Waking up and thinking is this natural? -
the way you fit your hands round my waist
and hold me like a doll, or toxic waste
from a post-nuclear family. - At arm's length.

You said the greed was my fault,
something to do with the biological seed
of what makes me woman. Makes me wrong.

I was told I don't belong here.
I was out of my depth, treading water
with all the other daughters who dared
to speak before they were spoken to;
those who woke and refused
to have the words choked out of them.

You said I was ugly, held down and half-drowned.
That I look best behind glass, or better still, beneath it.
Blow off the dust and learn to trust us, you said.

You tried to give me a new face, subservience,
but I couldn't fake it, couldn't take it - the silence
that lay behind. The binding of all those thou shalt knots.
You taught me my boundaries, gave me a baptism
in your fiction - made me the eve time forgot.


I watched your red tide rise before you pulled me under.
I told you this feels blind. Your words burned
like a lighthouse, guiding in the night:
Out of sight, out of mind.

* * *

With the last couple of poems, I wanted to take a break from all the narcissistic personal stuff I've been writing recently. So here we go, something more explicitly political than I've written in ages.

As always, the formatting's all out of whack, so please view this on my dA page for the proper version.


Inspired by the Bikini Kill song Feels Blind and, less obviously, I:Scintilla's Cursive Eve (although a lot of the original references to that were cut in the redraft). I'd really recommend listening to Feels Blind to fully understand where I'm coming from with this. It's also an epic song, so you're missing out if you haven't already heard it. (:

Surgery

Something most people don't realise
is that coral splints, painted brown,
screwed into the skull and mounted
like a crown allow for a preternatural
reconstruction. A rebirth; to break free
and shed skin like tears. A kind of shipwreck
surgery that makes a child look like a deer.

* * *

This, it turns out, is what hypothermia does to my brain. >__<; Based on one of Jack Handey's Deep Thoughts, as featured in the Nirvana song I Hate Myself and Want to Die:
"Most people don't realise that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer."

In The Dialect Of Insects

I hide in cupboards
and under the stairs,
underjoyed, black-eyed
and fossilised, over-aware
of the bitemarks forming
along my arms, my fingernails.

And thereby hangs a tale of
treacheries and transparencies.
I can't deny: I am gutterspined,
my own bone-laced anathema,
my own dead, buried face
to the ground. Lulled

and dumbfound by the clicks
and spit of this insect language,
I find safety in the rhymes
and rhythms of the cockroach waltz,
watching the flick and swish
of clockwork in motion.

Time, passing. The metaphors
latching their claws into my chest.
I'm running out of words to stave
off this drought. And all I know is
that this is lights out, the final rite,
and I will sleep hungry tonight.

* * *

Right now, it feels like insect speak is all I have left.

.

Yes, parts of this are heavily influenced by Jack Off Jill's Cockroach Waltz. It's one of my favourite songs and I've wanted to write a poem based on it for ages.

That said, I was seriously tempted to title this 'Ugly Bug Ball', but then sanity prevented me. xD
(If you don't get the reference, then I'm afraid you've had a deprived childhood).

Tales Of A Tub

This is it:
the storybooks,
the soft carpets, and now,
at the end of the corridor,
the bath is running.

The water is tongueless, breathless.
I make a well in the thunder,
and shape a space for myself
to rock shut in the crux of a chemical
imbalance, this dyskrasia. It tastes
of finality: the salt of stones
and shattered wrists. Restless slumber.


But
it is also this:
my fists clenched on the future,
a destiny of my own design,
my own undoing. There is no aura,
no mystique – just a raw kind of power.
An open weakness. No more
tapping tables, knocking on would-
have-beens. I'll just lay back,
get waterlogged;

get ready to dream.

* * *

Dig, Ophelia. Just keep on digging.

This - this was painful. It's based on something that happened a while ago now, but I've never quite managed to tell anyone. I'm going through dark spaces at the moment, and I keep reliving this, over and over. Thought maybe it's time I let it breathe.

Again, sorry if this makes anyone feel uncomfortable.


Title's taken from Tale of a Tub by Plath, which this is in no way based on - it was just something I stumbled across again whilst wracking my brains for a title.

The New Zero

You say
there is no sense
in long nights spent
spinning myself out of glass,
the web of imperfections that
choke out my reflection. But I'll
do it anyway: trace the scars that map
the arms, the rough husk round zerospace.
Taking each new glitch, each old, unspent
love and shaping it into formulae, answers.
And if you could only understand one
thing about me, I wish it were this:
that there are two sides to every story,
and while there's one in composition,
the other's weighting,
in position.

* * *

'God, how self indulgent, I thought, but whom should I indulge if not myself? ... [They are] battle scars. "I have a heart to break" is all it means. "I am killable". ... It was never supposed to be a way of life: it was about survival.' – Emilie Autumn, The Asylum

Sorry if this makes you feel uncomfortable – god, I know full well how it can make people feel. But it's something I felt had to be said.

Title is from this song of the same name by Rasputina. I feel it fits.


Please go and see properly formatted version of this here on my deviantart page.

Fever Pitch

This is the only way I know myself:
from here to here; the clutch of gut
between an armspan. And you –
you are the whorl of pyrexia
in my chest, a knot of words
I can't quite express
except in a kind of half-rhyme,
in a rhythm that falters like a pulse.

And I know my boundaries;
that there to there's just air – a gulf
before the sure borders of your shore.
A full fathomlessness, bream-deep;
seasick retrogrades, and a thousand reams
of water to tread.

But I feel just fine,
I could run forever -

For you,
I would scale the depths
of this fever pitch,
and bring you back
what's stitched to the linings
of my ribs: too deep breaths
and a casketful of sleep.

* * *

For you.

I woke up today and realised that I am not a robot, after all.
[I am in fact, a nuke bomb, but that's another story...]


♥ Fever Pitch – The Romanovs
♥ Incident in a Medical Clinic – Rasputina
Perhaps two of my favourite love songs ever. Not that either of them is actually about love. :P

Terra's Revision Playlist

We've all been there. Revision is the dullest thing since England's World Cup matches (or even – le gasp – the dullest blog in the world). In order to prevent yourself from doing something stupid to throw off the boredom, like suicide or listening to your sisters throw insults at one another for an hour or so (then suicide), you need something to counteract the sheer dullity of revision notes. That something is music.
So here are my top five albums (yes, albums – single songs are too insubstantial to have any real effect in counteracting the monotony that is my study leave life) for revision.

* * *

I:Scintilla – Prey On You
So the album 'Dying and Falling' has been set back a few months (/eons). But if it's anything like their latest EP, then it'll be well worth the wait. 'Prey On You' marks a definite shift in the industrial band's sound to a more EBM-inspired electro-beat. They've certainly been studying their Ayrias and their Zombie Girls – Seb Konor even does a remix of the title track which has the exact same synths as Creepy Crawler, I swear. They seem more willing to give the synths a greater voice and give Brittany's vocals a rest for a while, striking a nice balance.
Stand-out tracks: Prey On You and Hollowed.


Jack Off Jill – Humid Teenage Mediocrity
We all know revision has the power to completely destroy all positivity. Well, Jessicka knows your pain and your frustration. In fact, she's the queen of teenage angst – and nowhere is this clearer than 'HTM'. This compilation of non-album tracks and blunt-edged originals is all the more hard-hitting for its lo-fi punk undertones. Nothing compliments Jessicka's Kat Bjelland-style angelic to banshee-like vocals better.
Stand-out tracks: Bruises are Back in Style, Girlscout (I couldn’t find the 'HTM' version on youtube, so this is the ‘Sexless Demons and Scars’ album version. Not as good, imo, but nevermind) and Cockroach Waltz.


Räuberhöhle – Deep in the Forest
If you're looking for something to cheer you up rather than wallow in, Räuberhöhle is probably of more interest (this is about as close to pop as I get, so be excited!). The German retroclash singer's musical blend of retroclash, 8-bit chiptronica and lo-fi 'revolution girl style' punk gives you hope that the spirit of riot grrrl is still very much alive and kicking down the glass ceilings of the underground. 'Every Day More and More Ppl Are Going Radical' even samples Bikini Kill's 'Rebel Girl' – what more can you ask for? Oh, and if puppets, sparkly-pink capes, and people dressed as bears is your thing, then you're in for a treat.
Stand-out tracks: Every Day More and More Ppl Are Going Radical and Angry Dancy.


Kidneythieves - Zerospace
There's nothing lo-fi about Kidneythieves' industrial music. When listening to 'Zerospace', you get the sense that every second of electro-beat, synth and noise has been carefully thought out, and the resulting sound is very polished and clear-cut: what I like to call 'the Collide effect'. Free's lyrics are intelligent and her vocals extremely versatile – she covers just about every vocal technique known to man over the course of this album. The result is a diverse range of tracks; something to suit every mood.
Stand-out tracks: Zerospace, Crazy and Before I'm Dead.


Stolen Babies – There Be Squabbles Ahead
Strangely, someone recommended Stolen Babies on a Kidneythieves page. Trust me: they sound nothing alike. I'm thankful for the recommendation though, because 'TBSA' is a great album – nay, an amazing album. Stolen Babies have a truly unique sound with a wide sphere of influences that largely defies genres – the closest you'll get is circus-inspired punk avant-garde metal (or something along those lines). If avant-garde metal sounds a bit daunting – the genre is known for its experimental heavy metal eccentricity – then don't fret: Stolen Babies combine the instrumental-weirdassness of bands like Sleepytime Gorilla Museum and Unexpect with the more melodious sounds of a dark cabaret. Dominique is one of the most talented vocalists I have ever heard, and their music has probably the best punk/funk-inspired bass I have heard since Lunachicks' Squid Silver. Besides, anyone who makes the accordion badass deserves respect, right?
Stand-out tracks: seriously, the whole album is note-worthy, but if I had to choose, they'd be Filistata, So Close and Tablescrap.

* * *

I hope that's brightened up your revision experience - or at least made it more interesting! And remember; the end is now in sight!

Digging Deep

i.
Sunrise.
Though muffled by the clouds
of sound crackling
over my head, I feel it:
a sort of light, seeping
through the soil. Hazed
rays like roots,
roots of light b r e a k i n g
through, entwining
my toes with
earth.

My breath makes mists
of momentary suspension,
caught in the net of air.


ii.
And every moment is like waking
to skies of fly-
specked grey and
eyes
opening – (breaking
from my dreams
that are badreams
of circles
closing
around my chest,
snapping sinews and
scattering ash –

I always
turn out to be
hollowhearted).

My bones permeate sight
unflinchingly. Matchstick limbs
akimbo, saluting my
(stifled)
free-
fall.


iii.
I reach back
into darkness, endlessly -
my mind racing, trailing,
scouring
the star-eaten sky
for secrets, traces
of the truth that peel
away
as time transcends itself.

It rains,
but the water’s rotten, full
of moth-eaten holes, hazy
with the sound of
/dis-connection.


iv.
There is a weight fixed
between my heartbones –
the wait is silence.
How is the air so thick,
so full,
of emptiness?
Time is incomplete,
I am un-
finished.

I’m digging deep,
but all words
and meaning
are slipping
away
and

only the light
is listening:

* * *

Consider this a sister piece to Flipside - Beneath the Sky, a much older poem of mine. Inspired by Toni Morrison's 'Beloved' (epic book, insane film - go read/watch it now!) and the song 'Digging Deep' by Jakalope.

By the way, Blogger will not let me use the correct formatting for this. To see the poem written as it should be (well, almost), please see it on my dA page.

This Week’s Highlights in Misogyny News

Thank you so much to this hilarious episode of 'The White Hot Top Five' for inspiring this post.

This week there seems to have een a worrying influx of sexism stories in the media. Here are just a few of the most ridiculous ones.

So, the Winter Olympics are over for this year. Vancouver put on a great show, and the sport was exciting – I watched just about everything from ski cross to figure skating to ice hockey to the half pipe. But one sport I didn't get to see this Olympics was the women's ski jumping. And why'’s that? Well, even though men's ski jumping has been an Olympic sport since the winter Olympics began in 1924, women's ski jumping is still not an Olympic sport. And it's not that women don’t have an interest in it: it is a woman (Lindsay Van), in fact, who holds the world record for the event. Ski jumping events in which women can compete are held all over the world – there was one at the same venue used in the Olympics just a few weeks before the event – but for some (unknown – Olympic officials have offered no logic for this) reason, it is not an Olympic sport.
Not that it's all that great for the women who can compete in sports. As I was saying in a conversation with J, sexism is rife in sports, with the women’s events often seen as a less important 'version' of the main, men's event. As a report in Sports Illustrated says:

"Sexism isn't confined to any sport or country. It's a universal language, spoken not so much with words as with action, or the lack of it. Female hockey players from many of the European countries competing in the Olympics, for instance, have seen their national federations' lopsided spending on the men's programs as a loud and clear message that they are considered mere afterthoughts. In Russia, where hockey is the national pastime, the women couldn't begin practicing until three weeks before the Games because of budget constraints."

Something’s got to change. To see more on this story, check out this article over at Feministing.com.

OK, so if you can’t watch the sport without being confronted with blatant sexism, what can you watch? How about a film? Robert Pattinson has been all over the media this week promoting his new film ‘Remember Me’. But what got the most attention was an interview with him in ‘Details’ magazine, in which he said:

"I really hate vaginas. I’m allergic to vagina."

And this interview was accompanied by him surrounded by pictures of pornified naked women. Seriously.
But seriously, Pattinson just proves a major misogynistic phenomenon that feminists from Germaine Greer to Jessica Valenti have been going on about since (it seems) time began: that men hate women’s biology. In Full Frontal Feminism, Valenti points out that the worst thing you can call someone is a woman: cunt, bitch, pussy, slut, etc. A man is not naturally any of these things – the word has to be altered to fit: thus 'whore' becomes 'manwhore' – masculine adjusted lexis from a supposedly feminine norm.
So Pattinson, you are not 'allergic' to vagina, as you so charmingly put it. You are just an extremely misogynistic man. If you actually hated vaginas, you wouldn’t be straight. But then, gay / asexual guys don’t make sex-gods that 87% of women want to marry. Ugh.

So there's nothing to watch that’s not saturated with sexism. Why not listen to some music? But - le gasp! - it’s a trap! Music’s just as fucked up as the rest of pop culture. And a prime example of this is my favouritest person ever, Ke$ha. Words fail to describe what I feel about this latest pop music mistake. Could there be a worse role model for women in the music industry? I think not.
Witness Exhibit A:

"I have very empowering lyrics for women."

HAHAHAHA... this is some kind of joke, right? Oh no, wait, there’s more? Do carry on...

"I kind of take how guys talk to women all over this industry and throw it back at them."

OK, so you take your inspiration from charming lyrics like 'you were supposed to love me, now bleed bitch bleed', 'I'ma own that pussy' and 'make sure it's not your bloody week, you slut'. And that’s empowering to whom, exactly?

"I'm literally just talking to a man the way any rapper talks about women in
every rap song on the radio."

Oh I see. That makes total sense!
Wtf, Ke$ha, did no one ever tell you that two wrongs don’t make a right? Sexist comments like that, whoever they are addressed to, are not empowering to anyone. They’re just sick and demeaning. Not to mention that your use of this 'tactic' fails anyway because it’s completely misguided.
Let’s take a look at Exhibit B, shall we? These are some of the lyrics to your latest single, 'Blah Blah Blah':

'Boy come on give me rock stuff
Come put a little love in my glove box'

You know, I’m all for women gaining sexual empowerment. And people like Lady Gaga are actually making a point in their lyrically sexual songs (I’m thinking 'Bad Romance' where some pimp-ring guy gets fried by Gaga’s flamethrower bra). But lyrics like that don’t work if you’re singing them whilst posing provocatively, flicking your hair and smiling seductively at this random guy that hanging creepily over you – the same guy who you claim to be a complete douchebag. You see, Ke$ha, you’ve got this strong and sexual woman thing all wrong. It’s OK to be sexually forward towards a guy you actually like, but that doesn’t mean you should throw yourself at any random creep that wants to sleep with you. Instead of empowering women, your lyrics actually portray women who choose to promote and condone demeaning, misogynistic attitudes. Way to go!

Phew, what a week!
And that's just the latest addition to centuries of sexism.

Grrrl Power: Emilie Autumn

On Friday 29th January, I had the pleasure of seeing Ms Emilie Autumn and her wonderful Bloody Crumpets performing live in Wolverhampton. And, needless to say, it was absolutely amazing! The unique composite of circus burlesque theatricals, comic sketches and ground-shaking music is a truly awesome experience, and was totally worth waiting outside in the freezing cold for several hours for!

But Emilie is not just an amazing performer, artist and musician. She is a great role model.

For those of you that don't know, the 'story' of Emilie Autumn is based around 'The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls' - a Victorian psychiatric hospital in which the manic depressive Emilie and her crazy Crumpets reside. Although these girls are clearly completely insane (in the best possible way), it is also made clear that the institution is crazier, and crueller than any of the murderous, morally delinquent inmates. The girls are trapped by a society that is unable to countenance 'outsiders' - people who are different - so enforces their imprisonment.

But at the same time, these women are not victims. The madness that Emilie and the Crumpets suffer - The Blessed Contessa's a cannibal, Aprella likes to shoot her lovers, the Naughty Veronica is sexually revaneous and morally deliquent, and Captain Maggot is just completely delusional - are simply signs of their strength of character. These women revel in their individuality, however 'wrong' society may deem it, and rebel against the system. Although trapped inside the Asylum, they flounce all the rules and have a rave whilst doing it.

And although these characters are clearly all theatrical caricatures of insanity, there is a great message behind it. That you should be yourself and indulge yourself in your individuality no matter what - and that is true strength of character. And in a society that teaches women that to rebel you should openly drink and and reassert your (predominantly submissive) sexuality - I'm thinking of people like 'Ke$ha' and the godawful 'Tik Tok' ('Cuz it sells to be a slut...)- this is a powerful message. (For one, I am confused why people think the behaviour that Ke$ha and her contemporaries promote is rebellion when our culture actually expects and encourages it from young women).

I will leave you with one final thought. When performing the incredible 'Dead is the New Alive', Emilie asked (or rather, screamed) "Are you ready to fight like girls?!" By this, she did not mean some pathetic catfight or bitchslapping-fest: she meant proper, full-on violence. Obviously, she was not provoking a fight in the audience, but what she said had a point. Girls can be just as strong and powerful and guys if they want to - and don't let themselves be brought down by the system. 'Craziness' and individuality is to be embraced, not something to be ashamed of, and locked away. Emilie's rallying call to 'FIGHT!' is not a cry for violence, but  a plea for resistance against a society that would like us all to be kept quitely under control.

Unfortunately, I haven't been able to find any footage from our gig, but this is from a gig earlier in 'The Key' tour - and this includes the fabulous Maggot, who was sadly missing from our show. Enjoy!

Sound of(f) 2009

Finally, the whole 'Christmas Number One crisis' is over. And although I’m glad that Rage Against The Machine pipped X-Factor contestant Joe McElderry to the number one spot (being anti-Cowell, exploitation profits and musical manufacture as I am), in general, that facebook campaign really annoyed me. I mean, the idea of a load of people saying ‘fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me’ to Simon Cowell and the establishment is pretty awesome, and I totally back that. But when its tainted with the irony that people have said basically just turned round and said ‘fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me – but I will do what YOU tell me’ to someone else has really taken any sense of success out of the campaign for me. The whole situation smacks of fail. Is this really what our heavily watered-down sense of revolution has come to: self-deluding hypocrisy?
I also found it interesting to read this article at Current.com which says:

‘Both acts are on Sony. Music News reports that the two singles gave the record label a 65.6% share of single market. Indie labels had 2.0% between them.’

A great ‘win’ for real music then? I think not.
Personally, I am an advocate of everyone finding their own music taste, and buying what they want to hear, no matter what others tell them. And if pop music is your thing, then fine, go and buy that. But if not, then don’t fret and don’t feel obliged to conform! There are plenty of great alternative bands out there. Don’t believe it? Here is a selection of some of my favourite bands from 2009.

* * *

Angelspit
I was really excited when I heard that 2009 would yield the release of a new Angelspit album – one of my favourite bands of all time – especially when I ordered a beautiful signed copy! ‘Hideous and Perfect’ is, as always, a wonderful work of musical and visual artistry. The songs’ lyrics and music show the band’s clear creative development, and ‘Hideous and Perfect’ is very much crafted as a self-contained album. Check out the awesome video for ‘Fuck the Revolution’.

Daisy Dares You
OK, I admit, Daisy Dares You is not exactly alternative. In fact, Daisy is apparently set to be a big mainstream success in 2010 according to various newspapers – she’s even longlisted for the BBC’s Sound of 2010. But anyway, I shall be pleased to be able to say ‘I knew about her before she was cool!’ and mean it! Her self-titled track ‘Daisy Dares You’ is pretty catchy dance-pop, and I can definitely see her music catching on. One to watch, for sure.

Fever Fever
Fever Fever are a cool three-piece punk band hailing from Norwich that mix primal rock fury with occasional girl rap and a clear riot grrrl influence. They are a relatively new band, with only a couple of songs released on their debut record and several compilation albums, but their songs have plenty of biting character and are all worth a listen. ‘Numbers’ is my personal favourite.

I:Scintilla
Another of my all-time favourite bands, industrial-powerhouse I:Scintilla, have made some great new music this year. Although I was slightly gutted to hear that the release of their album has been delayed till 2010, the release of their EP ‘Prey on You’ this November cheered me up a lot. I adore the songs on this EP, especially ‘Hollowed’, and it’s made me even more excited for the release of ‘Dying and Falling’ next January. Yay!

Räuberhöhle
2009 also saw another fantastic release from my favourite lo-fi retroclash German band, Räuberhöhle. ‘Deep in the Forest’ is their debut full-length album, crammed with sugar-powered riot grrrl goodness. They’re all great songs to dance around to, my favourite being ‘Angry Dancy’ which officially does what it says on the tin!

Screaming Females
Another punk rock three piece, Screaming Females hail from New Brunswick. Now this is a band with some skillz. Marissa is a truly amazing vocalist and guitarist, and the threesome are perfectly matched to make great tunes. ‘Buried in the Nude’ is a truly amazing song. Go download ‘Bell’ for free from their Last.fm page now!

The Brownies
The Brownies describe themselves as a post-punk, happy hardcore five-piece from Norwich. Clearly influenced by riot grrrl bands like Bratmobile and Bikini Kill, but also taking wider musical inspiration from metalcore, indie and punk, The Brownies have their own unique sound. Ourknife Yourback is a shockingly good album, full of amazing songs. If there is anything that you listen to from this list, let it be The Brownies!

Violet Violet
A riot grrrl indie punk band, Violet Violet describe their music as ‘gossip rock’: ‘edgy, full-on bitching, harmoniously delivered by a feisty trio of sardonic sirens’. Their songs have plenty of kick and energy, and always make a good listen. 2009 has seen the release of another awesome album from the threesome: ‘This City is Full of Beasts’. ‘Love This Band’ has been in my head for days..

From A Jigsaw-Grrrl To You...

In honour of my friend J finally being able to put Le Tigre's 'This Island' album on her iPod (after months of waiting!) and of me finally completing my Bikini Kill discography last week, here's a tribute to the awesome Kathleen Hanna that I saw recently, and thought I ought to share, just to spread the K-Ha love, if nothing else!

Ever since I listened to Bikini Kill's iconic song 'Rebel Girl', I have been obsessed with the riot grrrl movement. It's girl-positive mix of raw post-punk and feminism are both truly inspirational elements to me, and it wouldn't be an exaggeration to say riot grrrl has helped define who I am today. Thanks to Kathleen Hanna and the many other awesome grrrls like her, feminism lives on!

Keep the girl-style revolution alive!

Terra's Winter Playlist

Here's something to distract me from the apocalyptic disaster that is my personal statement...

The season is changing. My breath makes little crystallised clouds in the air every morning, my radiator is on full-blast, and everywhere you go there are huge piles of leaves just begging to be jumped in. So, to celebrate the season, here is a collection of songs that remind me of winter to get you in the wintery mood - before things start getting Christmas-y.

* * *

Weekend – The Birthday Massacre
For me, this is the definitive winter song. You may remember this one from my top ten tunes post, in which I said that this was ‘a song that reminds me of autumn leaves, shiny wrapping paper and the colour purple’, and that it never fails to make me smile. This remains true. This is an adorable and meaningful song; one of TBM’s best.


Scin – I:Scintilla
I really have no idea why this reminds me of winter, but it is another great industrial sound. For me the best thing about this song (other than the awesome tune, guitars and synths!), is its message. Here’s the chorus:

Detach from crippling divisions
Feel outside your skin
Find empowerment and illumination
Taken entirely from within

Love.it.


Girl on the Floor – Ayria
This is very much a ‘final-song-on-the-album’ song; you can tell as soon as you hear it. But it’s good. I especially like the eerie piano ending. The lyrics relay quite a depressing story, for Ayria, but it’s one that I can relate to, and I guess that’s why I like it. Plus, it contains some good advice:

All you get from this moment
Is all you gave to your past

So make the most of the time you’ve got, and never compromise the future. Maybe the world leaders who are still unable to make a decision on climate change should listen to this song...


House of Ill Trepidation – Jakalope
OK, so the beginning of this song is annoying. Muted-crowded-room sound is not really the most tuneful intro. But one and a half minutes later, when the beat kicks in, this becomes a great tune. And since industrial seems to be the sound of winter, there is really no better way of getting in the wintery mood than this song. Katie B’s voice is eerily beautiful, and I love the harmonies.


Symphony of the Living Dead [Part ii] – Zombie Girl
Part ii is infinitely better than part i, may I just say. Another great industrial song: my favourite instrumental by Zombie Girl. Though this is really more suited to Hallowe’en than winter, as the title suggests, there is a ‘colder’ edge to this that makes you think of blood in the snow, and mysterious handprints on fogged glass... I like the creaky-floorboards effect at the end! Spooky...


Apathetic – Lunachicks
‘Apathetic’, believe it or not, is in the thesaurus under cold. I shared that fact with the Creative Writing Club that I’m currently leading the other day. They were suitably, er, apathetic, to hear it...
Finally, something non-industrial! The whole ‘Binge and Purge’ album reminds me of winter, for some unknown winter. This is the opening track, and it’s awesome: because it tells you some of the key situations in life in which it’s ok to be apathetic. The Lunachicks are always cool, witty, and suitably gross (it is riot grrrl/gross-out punk, after all!), and this is certainly not exception to the rule – plus it has a Squid-section (Squid is one of the most awesome people ever, as is Theo Kogan). A great song and a great album!


Everything’s Brown – Jack Off Jill
This is a killer – an eerie, skeletal-trees kind of song. The discordant chord progression on the guitar is amazing, and Jessicka’s screaming is so emotion-packed. It’s the kind of song that forces you do listen to it, however preoccupied you are, and make you think ‘wow’. Not really sure why it’s really wintery, but it’s one of my recent finds, so it made the list anyway.


After Dark – Le Tigre
And last, but not least, there’s this little feminist dance-punk gem. Everyone knows that Kathleen Hanna is epic win, and so is Le Tigre. It was a toss-up between this and ‘TKO’ for the last spot on the playlist – this song won on catchiness. I guarantee it will having you singing along! This is lo-fi retroclash at its best.

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I hope you enjoyed the playlist! Like last time, I’ve made a playlist on my last.fm page for your listening convenience.

Happy winter!

Terradoll's Top Ten Tunes And Why You Should Listen To Them

I was wondering how long it would be until the conventional 'top ten' lists started to appear on my blog... A disappointingly short time, by the look of it! But anyway...

Music is very important to me, as both a means of escapism and as inspiration for my ideas – both creative and socio-cultural. My favourite music has an impact on how I think, act and write, and has effectively helped make me who I am. I cannot go a half a day without listening to something on my iPod, and have to buy new CDs practically weekly to stop myself getting withdrawal symptoms. Basically, I listen to music a lot.
I was having a listen through loads of my old and favourite music today – a break from the extreme riot grrrl punk rock phase I’ve been having recently – and thought I should compile a list of my favourite songs ever to put my music taste into perspective (when you keep having genre-phases, it’s sometimes hard to remember all those songs that you love). So here is a list of ten (you have no idea how long it took to whittle it down to that lovely round number!) of my favourite songs ever, in no particular order, and why you should listen to them sometime too.
And I apologise in advance for inflicting my strange, eclectic music taste on you!

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Angelspit - Lust Worthy
Any of Angelspit’s songs are seriously worth a listen to, but this is definitely my favourite – although, to be honest, I am unsure why. It differs from many of Angelspit’s other tracks in that it has an unusually slow beat and very dark sound, but retaining an awesome tune and attitude-laced clever lyrics. Plus it contains perhaps my favourite Angelspit lyrics ever: ‘I hate, therefore I ain’t / I am nothing but my own disease’.

Emilie Autumn – Opheliac
The first song I ever heard by Emilie, so of course it has its own little place in my heart. The mixture of the opening harpsichord melody, Emilie’s characteristic Victorian-industrial awesomeness, the Shakespeare quotes and Emilie’s crazy-Ophelia voice in the chorus undoubtedly make ‘Opheliac’ one of her best songs. If you only listen to one song from this list, make it this one!

I:Scintilla – Ultravioletfly
Like ‘Lust Worthy’ from ‘Blood Death Ivory’, ‘Ultravioletfly’ is another stand-out track from an album, in this case I:Scintilla’s ‘Optics’. Why do I like this track? To put it simply: everything about this track is unbelievably awesome. I:Scintilla are one of my favourite lyricists, and ‘Ultravioletfly’ contains some of the best lyrics on the album, not to mention awesome guitar, synths, melody and rhythmic effects. The best of an album full of great songs.

The Birthday Massacre – Blue
The Birthday Massacre is another band with great lyrics and great music – and they have always been a major inspiration to me. And this, my top-played track on iTunes, is no exception. For a while every single thing I wrote was somehow inspired by this song (obsessive, much?), including my GCSE coursework piece, and the themes of duplicity, split personalities and internal conflicts remain some of my main literary preoccupations today all because of this song. It’s Chibi’s voice that really makes this song so special, contrasting with and complimenting the dark chugging guitars and the retroclash electro-bleeps so well. And I have always longed to be able to replicate her growl!

Lunachicks – Binge & Purge
The first song I ever heard by the Lunachicks, and I have loved them ever since. ‘Binge and Purge’, the title song of the album, is a perfect example of the Lunachicks’ mix of fun post-punk rock and comic lyrics (with added puke noises!) with a serious message that became the Lunachicks’ trademark style. Definitely one to jump around and sing along to!

Bikini Kill – Feels Blind
As well as their well-known feminist-centred catchy punk rock songs that have become the ‘anthems’ of the riot grrrl movement, like ‘Rebel Girl’ and ‘Double Dare Ya’, Bikini Kill also wrote some great slower, more emotional songs. ‘Feels Blind’ is one of these, with a narrator who stands ‘in the doorway of [her] demise’ and who is doomed to only feel blind forever. Of course it would not be Bikini Kill without some kind of feminist message, as it talks about the debilitation of women and the limitation of their lives in a patriarchal society. Powerful stuff with a really great melody.

Emilie Autumn – Let The Record Show
Another epic Emilie song! I can’t really think of a specific reason of why I like this song so much, I think its awesomeness must just owe to the delicious darkness of the lyrics and music, the biting Victorian-industrial edge and Emilie’s coolness and originality. She is one talented woman.

Lunachicks – Superstrong
‘Take this! Take that! But no one is ever going to take my fucking rights back!’ An awesome song about women’s rights concerning freedom from sexual harassment (both visual and physical) by men. Theo’s gruff, masculine voice in this and the humour and attitude of the lyrics make it one of the best tracks off ‘Binge and Purge’. It’s just more proof that the Lunachicks = awesome.

The Birthday Massacre – Weekend
To be honest, there were several contenders from TBM’s ‘Walking With Stranger’s album for this spot in the list, including ‘Goodnight’ and the title track, but ‘Weekend’ cinched it, being my most-listened-to out of the three. A song that reminds me of autumn leaves, shiny wrapping paper and the colour purple, ‘Weekend’ never fails to make me smile.

Evanescence – Whisper
Truthfully, I haven’t listened to any Evanescence in ages, but when I was an angsty tween I listened to little else. There are so many songs of theirs I absolutely adored when I was in that phase, but Whisper remained my one favourite – the song that introduced me to their music. And the guitar riffs and Amy Lee’s voice mean this song remains a great listen to this day. I have to thank Evanescence for introducing me to all the music I listen to now (albeit in a very roundabout way), so in some ways this is the most important song on the list, because without this, none of the others would be there!

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And because I know that you’ll be dying to listen to all these tracks now, after I’ve sold them to you so well, I’ve made a playlist of all these songs on my last.fm page, which can be found here.
Enjoy!